I used to think more merch meant more exposure.
Hand out 1,000 tote bags, pat yourself on the back. Mission accomplished, right?
Wrong.
One client actually tried this. They spent big on cheap totes for an event.
Guess how many people posted about them on Instagram? Zero.
Guess how many conversations those bags started? Zero.
Guess how many ended up in a closet, or worse, a landfill? Too many.
Quantity doesn't build a brand. It buries it.
Merch without a story is like a movie without a script. You sit through it, but no one remembers it.
The Story Test
Here's the question every CMO, brand director, or marketer should ask:
What story does your company merch tell?
If the answer is "nothing," that's a problem.
Most brands treat merchandise like real estate. "Where can we stick our logo?"
That's exactly backwards.
The goal isn't placement. It’s meaning.
Dollar Shave Club: Case Study in Storytelling
Take Dollar Shave Club. Their competitors stuffed boxes with generic razors and shaving cream samples. Yawn.
DSC looked at the box itself and thought, "This is the product."
So they turned packaging into an experience.
Limited edition box designs.
Witty copy.
Collectible elements.
They transformed disposal into desire.
People didn't toss their boxes. They kept them. They showed them off.
Suddenly, the box wasn't packaging. It was a stage prop in their customers' lives.
That's what smart brands do. They don't create merch. They create artifacts of a story.
Why Most Merch Fails
Bad merch is loud.
It shouts: "HEY LOOK AT OUR LOGO."
Good merch whispers.
It says: "This brand gets me."
The best branded merchandise doesn't even feel like marketing. It feels inevitable. Like of course you'd use this notebook, mug, hoodie, or box. Of course it belongs in your daily routine.
That's the test. Does it feel like an ad or like you?
Rethinking Metrics
Most marketing teams still count impressions like it's 2007.
"10,000 people saw our logo!"
Cool. And?
Logos don't build loyalty. Experiences do.
Here's what you should measure instead:
- Engagement depth. Do people actually use it?
- Shareability. Are they posting about it? Talking about it?
- Brand advocacy. Does it spark conversations about you?
- Daily integration. Is it part of their routine, or just clutter?
If your branded item can't clear those four bars, it's probably junk.
Flip the Mindset
The old model: "What can we slap our name on?"
The new model: "What can we give that builds trust?"
Merch isn't about mass production. It's about storytelling, curation, and giving people something worth keeping.
Because every item you hand out is either building your story or adding to the pile of wasted junk.
What's the last piece of branded merch you actually used in your daily life and why?
That's your clue. Follow that story.
